When I thought about becoming a mom abroad, I worried about all the obvious things, the healthcare system, the language barrier, having a baby in another country. But honestly, none of those things ended up being the hardest part. The hardest part was much simpler: I missed my people. I missed being close to the friends and family who know me best, who would normally just show up, and who I always imagined would be part of those first months of motherhood. Building a village abroad meant realizing that if I wanted that kind of community here, I was going to have to build it.
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Missing Home Looks Different After You Become a Mom
I knew being far from family would be hard before I became a mom. But knowing something will be difficult and actually living it are two very different things. For me, it really sank in after my mom flew home.
She stayed with us for those first couple of weeks after our daughter was born, helping us settle into this brand-new chapter. She cooked, helped around the house, loved on the baby. Simply having her there made everything feel lighter.
Then she left. And suddenly, it was just us. For almost a month, the only people I regularly saw were my husband, our cleaning lady, and the security guards in our community. That's when the loneliness hit.
I've lived away from my family before. I've moved to new cities. I've started over more than once. But postpartum is different. Those first six or seven weeks aren't just physically exhausting. They're emotionally overwhelming.
I could have reached out to the wonderful friends I'd already made in Cabo, and several of them offered to help. I'm incredibly grateful for that. But the truth is I didn't want to have to ask. I wanted someone to text and say, "I'm bringing you lunch." "Go take a shower. I've got her." That's the kind of love family and lifelong friends naturally give. It's not better than friendship. It's just different. And I missed it every single day.
Here's what I missed most:
- My mom close by, and brothers stopping in for a quick visit.
- My best friends texting, "I'm outside. I brought coffee."
- Someone I could leave the baby with for thirty minutes so I could catch my breath.
- My grandmother, my people, honestly, everyone.
- The little comforts of home, like my favorite foods, which suddenly felt much bigger than they ever had before.
What Nobody Tells You About Those First Weeks
- You're healing.
- You're figuring out breastfeeding.
- You're learning your baby.
- You're learning yourself.
- And more than anything, you just want someone who knows you. Not to solve the problem, but because they already know what you need before you have to explain it.
Finding My Village in Cabo
The beautiful part of this story is that it doesn't end there. Long before I became a mom, I had already started building a community in Cabo. And almost every single friend I have here came from fitness. The gym. Pilates. Yoga.
Actually, that's been true everywhere I've lived. Whether it was Las Vegas, San Diego, or Cabo San Lucas, fitness has always been where I've found my people. I worked in the fitness industry for over twelve years as a Master Spin Instructor (that's a story for another day), and if there's one thing I've learned, it's this:
If you want to build community, start where people consistently show up.
Friendships don't usually happen because of one great conversation. They happen because you keep seeing the same people over and over again. You start saying hello. Then you grab coffee. Then one day you're celebrating birthdays together. Consistency builds community.
Once I became pregnant, something shifted. I met other women who were pregnant at the same time through prenatal Pilates and the gym. Suddenly I wasn't just making friends. I was finding women who understood exactly what I was going through.
We were comparing symptoms, talking about doctors, laughing about pregnancy cravings, celebrating milestones. And later, navigating sleepless nights, newborns, husbands, and postpartum together. Some of those women have become some of my closest friends here in Cabo. Looking back, I honestly don't know what my postpartum experience would have been like without them. If you happen to find yourself in Cabo, and are looking for a place to move your body, get in a good workout while visiting Cabo, and connect with like minded people, a few of my favorite places are @Nativa.gym for group fitness and weight training, @olipilates.studio for pilates and pre/post natal pilates, @Cabo_yogafitness for yoga, sculpt and barre classes, @Reino_mx for indoor cycling classes.
Building Community Abroad Takes Intention
One thing I've learned about living abroad is that building community is both incredibly easy and surprisingly hard. It's easy because people in Cabo are friendly. The opportunities to meet people are everywhere. What's harder is moving beyond that first layer of friendship. Turning someone you'd wave to into someone you'd call when life gets hard. That takes time, consistency, and intention.
So many people moved to Cabo for the same reason we did. To slow down, spend more time with their families, and create a different kind of life. I love that about this place. But it also means everyone's first priority is usually their own family, which I completely understand. Deeper friendships develop a little more slowly here. And that's okay. The friendships that last are worth waiting for.
The Unexpected Gift
As hard as this season has been at times, it has given us something I never expected. It strengthened our marriage. When it's just the two of you, you learn very quickly that you're capable of more than you ever imagined.
We've navigated moving away from both of our home countries. Built a life in a third country. Gone through immigration, pregnancy, birth, postpartum, international paperwork, citizenship, passports. And somehow, we've come out stronger every single time. We've learned that together, we can handle just about anything. That confidence has changed us.
Cabo doesn't feel like home because it's where we live. It feels like home because it's where we've built our life. It's where we got married at ACRE Baja. It's where our daughter was born. It's where we've become parents and learned what we're capable of. And that will always make it special.
If there's one thing I hope you take away, it's this: don't wait for community to magically appear. Build it. Home is wherever my husband and my daughter are now. Because home isn't just a location. It's a feeling. Family isn't only the people we're born into. It's also the people we choose.
And community? Community is everything, especially when you're living abroad. It won't happen overnight. But if you're willing to invest in people, open your heart, and keep showing up, you'll build something beautiful. And one day, you'll look around and realize you're no longer just living abroad. You're home.
How to Build Your Village Abroad
- Say yes to coffee.
- Join the gym, the Pilates studio, the yoga class. Start where people consistently show up.
- If you're pregnant, find the prenatal class. The women in it are your people.
- Invite someone to the beach.
- Text first. Follow up.
- Keep showing up. The friendships that change your life are usually built one ordinary afternoon at a time.
FAQs
Start where people consistently show up, like the gym, Pilates, yoga, or prenatal classes, and keep going back. Friendships form through repetition, not one great conversation. Say yes to coffee, text first, follow up, and give the deeper friendships time to grow.
For most moms, the hardest part is not having the people who know you best nearby, especially in the first weeks postpartum. It's less about healthcare or language and more about missing the kind of help you never have to ask for.
Prenatal and postnatal fitness classes are the fastest way, because everyone there is walking through the same season of life. I met some of my closest friends in Cabo through prenatal Pilates while we were pregnant at the same time.
Meeting people can happen in your first week, but call-you-when-life-gets-hard friendships take months of consistent showing up. In family-first places like Cabo, deeper friendships develop slowly, and the ones that last are worth the wait.
For us, yes. It has been lonely at times, but it built a village we chose ourselves and made our marriage stronger, because we learned we could handle just about anything together.
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